tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-111772722009-10-13T01:33:23.928-11:00Enter and begin to transform.Shatnoreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-22521817179925374662007-05-10T12:53:00.000-11:002007-05-10T13:15:33.807-11:00

The other day, I was sitting at my computer being productive by thinking about boobs. That's when I saw an ad featuring a girl with fake boobs. I thought, “Fake milk wagons are the shit!” I went and found a picture of natural, large breasts. They were of coarse, ugly. I put it next to the ad with the fake knockers. The girl on the left thinks she has fun bags, but they look more like sandbags.

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1158976807563764392006-09-22T14:42:00.000-11:002006-09-22T15:22:53.893-11:00

The Following are in no particular order.PT cruiserMy best friend nicknamed this car “The Bathtub,” and for good reason. I sometimes expect to look inside and see the things filled with water. This car was a concept car that should have ended up looking like an old gangster or mafia mobile. Instead, it has become something frumpy, middle aged, unimportant business men drive to work. Most of the

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1147895931209902572006-05-17T08:57:00.000-11:002006-05-17T08:58:51.226-11:00

Police and authority. (Sorry, this is another non humorous addition).Pretty much all of this information was obtained from the lead police officer in my city, who is also our High School campus police officer. He gave a great speech and is ironically on the side of the students.Here we go:-Frisk- A frisk is a pat down. You cannot put your hands in the pocket of another if you are frisking them or

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1146459216504001892006-04-30T17:53:00.000-11:002006-04-30T18:05:46.886-11:00

This is for all you kiddies without older siblings.High School.If you haven’t been through high school, or don’t know someone who’s been through high school recently, here you go.Early start-If your school offers Spanish in the seventh and eighth grades to get ‘half credits,’ don’t fall for it. It’s bullshit. You’ll waste two years when you could have spent one earning a credit.AP classes-Same

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1142223823257654762006-03-12T17:16:00.000-11:002006-03-12T17:27:07.783-11:00

*Remember when reading this that I use my write to use creative license.I went to Tom Thumb tonight to get some stuff. I'm extremely ashamed that I used a shopping cart this time. While I was there, a manager saw me carrying an unearthly amount of crap. He must have known I wasn't 100% human. Anyway, he asked me if I needed I shopping cart and I declined his filthy offer!It's always been my

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1137909090470841782006-01-21T18:47:00.000-11:002006-01-22T19:18:03.460-11:00

Dallas, TX: Tempers soared when the bums of Dallas Texas learned they were missing out on wireless Internet. James Abe of Southlake Texas said,“There are two realities, the physical world and the Internet world. The Internet world is one of the only places that normal people can hide from the bums. However, now that they realize what they're missing out on, they're going to try to gain access to

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1135031006518351732005-12-19T11:21:00.000-11:002005-12-19T11:23:26.536-11:00

Do you know who this is?By Krupple

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1134621303640224622005-12-14T17:32:00.000-11:002005-12-14T17:35:03.653-11:00

NEPAL/TIBET, -- An elderly widow seeking sexual satisfaction set her worthless, blind eyes on Mt. Everest. Using her silver cotton candy as climbing rope, Bertha (mother of 26 and grandmother of 112) successfully made her way to the peak of Mt. Everest this Tuesday. Bertha figured that at 60 million years old, Mt. Everest would have enough sexual experience to satisfy her needs.Many people were

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1134003188318523982005-12-07T13:48:00.000-11:002005-12-07T19:04:42.260-11:00

LITTLEROCK, AR – Flames engulfed the “Sunfield Catholic Church” last Wednesday at 6:66pm, on Ash Ln. The cause of the fire is unknown, a local family suspects their dog, Sparky. Sparky received his nickname when his fur caught on fire as he walked past an ever sparking church telephone.“We aren’t sure, but we think Sparky could have started the fire. After all, he is a flamer.” Explained Sparky’s

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1133928890861609652005-12-06T17:14:00.000-11:002005-12-06T17:27:39.466-11:00

HOUSTON, TX – Jacob Maloni, expert friend and Yu-Gi-O historian, wants the entire world to know he treats his friend, Conner Williams, just like a normal person. He tells how it all came to happen on Monday night “Conner was spending the night and I noticed his prepuce and frenulum where in tact. I just blinked. I kept blinking and blinking.” Jacob is really excited to know his friend's new

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1130375978918481462005-10-26T14:18:00.000-11:002005-12-06T17:28:02.426-11:00

Hi, I'm Ron Dwight and I was hoping you could help me out with something. It's an extremely imbarrassing issue so I'm afraid to ask anyone.I have a dream of having sex in the branches of trees. I know this is dangerous for me and my girl, but could it hurt the tree? Someone said trees can feel pain and a police officer actually issued a man a ticket for leaning his bike against a tree.Here's my

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1126838189333500992005-09-15T15:36:00.000-11:002005-12-06T17:35:02.390-11:00

Braggart You are 71% Rational, 85% Extroverted, 28% Brutal, and 71% Arrogant. You are the Braggart! Like Muhammad Ali, you would surely tell everyonethat you are "The Greatest" whilst bragging incessantly about yourintelligence, your skills, and your abilities. You tend to be a thinkerrather than a feeler, and combined with your extroversion andarrogance, this

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1126791668041367062005-09-15T02:39:00.000-11:002006-07-31T14:54:45.380-11:00

Poems from the top of my head. I'm updating just to prove I'm still alive.A smirk from the approaching seems to last forever to the disher. Laminated in her mental guardian angel, whose life force thrives on her energy alone, she wishes to have her emotions survive the day unscathed. Her shield also assumes the roll of a projector, hence the smirk. Day by day she does this, and this force,

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1125218672022878382005-08-27T21:34:00.000-11:002005-08-27T21:52:46.676-11:00

Here is a list of insane online confessions I've run into. If these don't make you feel better about your personal faults, then you are a filthy filthy pervert. And a bad person.Here we go! NOTE: These were written by other people. I've provided visual aid and italicized text to show what I have written.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Due to my

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1123362111429923972005-08-06T09:58:00.000-11:002005-08-06T19:23:49.930-11:00

Don’t you love it when someone shows you their lack of extremely basic logic during the middle of an argument? It’s even better when you try to explain it to them, and they refuse to realize you were right. I hear this on the radio a lot. Also, this isn’t hard. It’s stuff I understood back as early as at LEAST first grade. I remember first grade. I had that bitch of a teacher who never taught me

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1126895403916530932005-08-01T07:29:00.000-11:002005-09-16T07:30:03.916-11:00

e link below to continue to the URL, non-anonymously. https://www.google.com/accounts/ServiceLogin?service=mail&passive=true&rm=false&continue=http%3A%2F%2Fmail.google.com%2Fmail%2F%3Fui%3Dhtml%26zy%3Dl&ltmpl=wsad&ltmplcache=2Back

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1119935155944327282005-06-27T18:04:00.000-11:002005-06-29T18:34:24.283-11:00

Nilla Wafers kick ass too. In fact, add the word ‘Nilla’ to your Microsoft Word dictionary right now. Do it.Because I said so.I was thinking about ‘sports in schools’ while I was arbitrarily wrestling an orgy of alligators today. I was thinking about how sports shouldn’t be government funded. I even have mixed feelings about my younger sister getting a volleyball scholarship when she gets older.

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1119509542365130882005-06-22T19:51:00.000-11:002005-07-21T18:51:42.316-11:00

Missing (cub) ScoutIf you’ve been watching the news, you know about a little brat who was freeloading on the forest’s natural resources. Here’s the story.An eleven year old boy named Brennan Hawkins went missing for four days in the woods of Utah. It’s unclear how he survived while in the woods because the little brat won’t tell anybody anything. He sat by a tree (after peeling all of the bark

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1117658473859359512005-06-01T09:41:00.001-11:002005-06-03T14:19:50.230-11:00

Everyone has heard of eBay, but more should try it. I've seen many jugheads waddle along as they denounce eBay as a scam website. eBay isn't a scam website, you just GOT scammed. There are thousands of members on eBay and many are scum, but most are well to do members. My family's account has nearly 300 buy/sell feedback marks. That's quite a few shipments for a family who isn't running a

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1117518473958099752005-05-30T18:45:00.000-11:002005-06-01T14:24:42.800-11:00

I’ve got to hand it to Coca-Cola. I’ve never liked their drink because It’s too bitter for my taste. I’m a Dr. Pepper, Root-Beer and Sunkist fan. Then again, Sprite, (which is owned by Coca-Cola) is better than 7up (which is owned by Dr. Pepper). Back to my point. Coke with lime is a nice beverage. The lime gives it just the right amount of kick it needs to satisfy. You should drink it.

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1116388804019506712005-05-17T16:51:00.000-11:002005-12-06T17:44:05.966-11:00

You’re overweight because you choose to be. Let me tell you. If there’s one thing that depresses me, it’s fat people eating alone at restaurants. Last valentines day, there was a really big woman sitting at a table alone. She was reading a book. I got deeply depressed for 20 minutes. I saw her again this mother’s day at the SAME ihop. I no longer want to eat there. Or if I do, I

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1115341050196954442005-05-05T13:43:00.000-11:002005-05-05T14:03:28.653-11:00

In case you don't know, the PETA is an animal rights group that goes wayyyy overboard. They get people to dress provocatively to get you to notice the naked truth about animal abuse. They discourage fishing as a family activity because it's horrible and evil and hurts the fish. Many of them blow up buildings such as chicken factories. You can visit their hilarious website at www.peta.org Beware

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1115084659376783202005-05-02T14:34:00.000-11:002005-07-21T18:58:24.273-11:00

Captain PlanetDo you remember Captain Planet? I'll bet you do. I watched it growing up and absolutely loved it. Recently, a buddy of mine had the idea to gather some rings and to a captain planet routine in the middle of a crowded hallway. I thought this idea was genius, and fully supported it. I love amusing others and trying to embarrass myself.When I was talking about Manly Men (and who

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1114481157405512882005-04-25T14:50:00.000-11:002005-05-18T09:22:26.216-11:00

I've never liked to hear someone say, "I'm a pessimist. I believe blah blah blah" They always seem to say it as if they think they are an intellectual. You can tell they think they're on another level by watching their face as they silently await your reaction. They think they're better than the happy do-gooders.There are jokes on the internet explaining how you can benefit from pessimism. They

Shatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11177272.post-1114308681713999402005-04-23T14:52:00.000-11:002005-05-18T09:27:47.613-11:00

I'm going to touch on five beliefs I have about Crime and Justice.Excluding the last one....Democrats will most-likely agree with 1/4 of the followingRepublicans, 3/4Logical individuals, well, they will agree with anything and everything I say because I wouldn't say it unless it were true. Crime and Rehabilitation (A more liberal view of mine) Too often I hear the phrase, "Crime and

Shatnoreply@blogger.com