Brat Ruins Entire Country's Weekend.

Missing (cub) Scout
If you’ve been watching the news, you know about a little brat who was freeloading on the forest’s natural resources.

Here’s the story.
An eleven year old boy named Brennan Hawkins went missing for four days in the woods of Utah. It’s unclear how he survived while in the woods because the little brat won’t tell anybody anything. He sat by a tree (after peeling all of the bark off) and complained until a deer brought him some roast beef. He probably stumbled upon a few corpses of dirty people who failed to pay their income tax.

His mommy, Jody Hawkins, said, “His biggest fear, he told me, was that someone would steal him.”
When he spotted search and rescue teams, he refused to approach them. When he finally worked up the balls (and I’m sure they haven’t dropped yet) to disobey his parents and approach a stranger, all he did was bitch and moan about not having waaater and fooood as if he had forgotten about all of the people starving in Ethiopia.

“After downing bottles of water and eating all the granola bars carried by a group of volunteer searchers, the boy asked to play a video game on one rescuer’s cell phone, the sheriff said.”- MSNBC

The second thing he was concerned about was his poka-man cards he had ordered from eBay.

When the media tried to interview him, his parents would interrupt and talk for him. They described him as “Socially immature, but not a tard.” I guess it isn’t socially immature for his parents to be stroking their children’S hair on national TV!

Sense Brennan can’t stay in its own yard, I’ll Photoshop a picture of him wearing an electric dog collar once I get my computer running again.