The Homeless Rally for Wireless Internet
Dallas, TX: Tempers soared when the bums of Dallas Texas learned they were missing out on wireless Internet.
James Abe of Southlake Texas said,
“There are two realities, the physical world and the Internet world. The Internet world is one of the only places that normal people can hide from the bums. However, now that they realize what they're missing out on, they're going to try to gain access to the other half of life. Doing so would make them more than half human, and I'm not very comfortable with that.”
James Abe is correct, the last thing real people need is for bums to be begging for money on the Internet. Even IF they had wireless internet, they would not have access to the millions upon millions of dollars worth of free giveaways on the Internet that everyone takes advantage of, because they don't have addresses.
Hillary Clinton loved the idea, “I think having wireless Internet access is a fundamental American right, protected by the Constitution, written by our Forepersons. 'Displaced Homeowners' need to be playing games, running blogs about being homeless and downloading pirated movies.”
We interviewed a few beggars and gained some insightful information.
The first to be interviewed was Cindy. When asked her opinion about wireless Internet, Cindy declared, “This is my shopping cart, I got it fair and square. They gave it to me. And don't try to steal my NAPkins.”
Our second Hobo refused to give us his name, so we'll call him Emperor Palpatine (I had to do some research to find out which Star Wars character dressed like this guy).
Emperor Palpatine: “Look at me. I don't have anything! All I have is this trash bag and this robe that makes me look like a bad ass. I literally have nothing! If I had wireless Internet, I could fly.”
For a final word, we went to “Wireless Internet for Homeless People” expert, Jason.
Jason explained, “It's a 'Hobo a-gogo' world out there, and homeless people are trying to catch up. I would know, I have a PhD. in 'Wireless Internet for Homeless People.”
Once you ignore everyone's opinion, it's obvious what must be done. We must stop wireless Internet from popping up in the vicinity of hobos. Think about it, do you want the Internet to smell like trash?
James Abe of Southlake Texas said,
“There are two realities, the physical world and the Internet world. The Internet world is one of the only places that normal people can hide from the bums. However, now that they realize what they're missing out on, they're going to try to gain access to the other half of life. Doing so would make them more than half human, and I'm not very comfortable with that.”
James Abe is correct, the last thing real people need is for bums to be begging for money on the Internet. Even IF they had wireless internet, they would not have access to the millions upon millions of dollars worth of free giveaways on the Internet that everyone takes advantage of, because they don't have addresses.
Hillary Clinton loved the idea, “I think having wireless Internet access is a fundamental American right, protected by the Constitution, written by our Forepersons. 'Displaced Homeowners' need to be playing games, running blogs about being homeless and downloading pirated movies.”We interviewed a few beggars and gained some insightful information.
The first to be interviewed was Cindy. When asked her opinion about wireless Internet, Cindy declared, “This is my shopping cart, I got it fair and square. They gave it to me. And don't try to steal my NAPkins.”
Our second Hobo refused to give us his name, so we'll call him Emperor Palpatine (I had to do some research to find out which Star Wars character dressed like this guy).Emperor Palpatine: “Look at me. I don't have anything! All I have is this trash bag and this robe that makes me look like a bad ass. I literally have nothing! If I had wireless Internet, I could fly.”
For a final word, we went to “Wireless Internet for Homeless People” expert, Jason.
Jason explained, “It's a 'Hobo a-gogo' world out there, and homeless people are trying to catch up. I would know, I have a PhD. in 'Wireless Internet for Homeless People.”
Once you ignore everyone's opinion, it's obvious what must be done. We must stop wireless Internet from popping up in the vicinity of hobos. Think about it, do you want the Internet to smell like trash?
posted by Shat @ 6:47 PM
