Crime and Punishment

I'm going to touch on five beliefs I have about Crime and Justice.
Excluding the last one....
Democrats will most-likely agree with 1/4 of the following
Republicans, 3/4
Logical individuals, well, they will agree with anything and everything I say because I wouldn't say it unless it were true.

Crime and Rehabilitation (A more liberal view of mine)
Too often I hear the phrase, "Crime and Punishment." The media loves that phrase. Truthfully, most top prisons have the underlying goal to rehabilitate the worthless tobacco chewing, doorknob caressing, children eating pieces of constipated fecal matter in prisons, the prisoners. Prisoners are not always bad though.
Oftentimes, people in prison earn scholarships and become pure and find god. Whether you believe in God or not, if you were to be placed in a random cell with a prisoner who could do whatever they wanted to you for an hour and you had a choice, you would choose the prisoner who has a Bible sitting next to his bed.

America set prisons up in order to control the crazies out there who want to harm others. As a whole, the government isn't concerned about punishing individual prisoners. While I'm not saying we should give them popcorn and sex, I am saying that it would be better to have rehabilitated prisoners than prisoners who have to stay in a cell for the rest of our and their lives and suck up the people's tax money.

You can watch the "Shawshank Redemption" if you want an understanding of what I'm talking about. Or watch the Discovery Channel episodes about penitentiaries.

Brain Surgery.
I was going to say prisoners should be given a chance to choose to have the portion of their brain removed that causes anger, but I did some research. This sums it up neatly.
http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro01/web1/Iskander.html
If we ever did find it though, the prisoners should be able to earn money through community service to get the operation.

Tattoo
The truth you are about to read might and should upset you. It deals with child molestation.
All sex offenders should have a sex offender tattoo on their foreheads, especially people who commit sexual assault on children.
I know this sounds mean and 'insensitiiiiivveeee', but think about (scenario) how he lifted up Taylor's shirt, held her/his small body down and punched their face several times and then forced his fingers under their underwear and into their genetailia. All the while Taylor screaming for her mommy/daddy but he takes his big, bear hand, grabs her/him by the mouth and brutally rams their head into the ground. Taylor is trembling in fear and pain, but the molester could care less. He's just happy the child has helped him make is filthy penis stiff again.

That's your child I'm talking about. Think about that. These child assaulters I'm talking about are fucking lunatics!! I'm getting pissed (my blood is boiling) just writing a scenario like this. Your blood should be boiling too.

But wait. We have to be sensitiiiiivvve and let Mr. Crotch out of prison to meet another family. Not only that, but we're not going to give the public any IMMEDIATE way to know how dangerous this man can be. Sure, you can check sex offender databases, but if even ONE child could avoid something horrible like that from happening to them by enacting a law for tattoo warnings, than by God it's worth it.

Attempted Murder Versus Murder.
I'm sure I'm not the first to think of this, (because I truly believe absolutely nothing is original to everybody) but it's an idea I've never heard anyone else touch on.
Lets say Robert draws his gun and shouts to a police officer, "I be goin' ta smoke ya dead ya damn 5-0 (cop) and shit!!" He then fires his gun and the bullet grazes the officer's ear lobe. Robert's second shot gives the officer a free root-canal, but everyone is alright.

OR

Andy commits a drive-by shooting. He doesn't kill anyone. They find written information proving he had the intent to kill, but as you know, he failed.
He will be charged with attempted murder. Should he be charged with that? Hell no!
Robert should be charged with First degree murder. In case you don't know...
The following is straight from WikiPedia.

First-degree murder (or murder in the first degree, or colloquially, murder one)
refers to premeditated murder, or murder which occurs after some degree of reflection by the murderer. This reflection can be years or less than a second.

Second-degree murder or voluntary manslaughter refers to
murder done without thought in the heat of the moment, or in some states after "adequate provocation".

There's a good reason Andy should be charged with murder. Andy tried to murder. He had the balls to do it and he acted on his decision.
Let's say Mike did the same and had succeeded.
Here are the fully controllable circumstances; Andy tried to murder. He had the balls to do it and he acted on his decision. What happens after the bullet leaves the gun is beyond his control. The bullet might and might not hit the target. It's all chance.
They both did the same physical actions, one got lucky and one didn't.

^Read it again.

Each man is as dangerous as the other. The only possible disputable difference would be that Mike has a mentality of "I've killed someone."

It might be easier for him to do it again. Other than that, they did the same exact thing. You must look at it from a viewpoint using logic rather than emotion (unlike the child molester scenario). Child molesters cannot change.

Drunk Driving

Tammy the tacky toothpick-tramp drove her fancypants hatchback home from the bar. Tammy was followed home and is about to lose her fugly-ass car.

Here's a cruddy shop.

If you are caught driving drunk, you should have your car taken by the cops and the money should go to needy children and/or the city. A few towns have tried this. The ones who have had an EXTREMELY significant change in the number of drunk drivers.

Apparently knowing you could run into an innocent person while driving drunk isn't enough to put them in the passenger's seat.

A look into the evils of the PSP

The Sony PSP came out recently and already I see people all around who have one. From the jocks to the emo-kids to the nerds and the average Joes, every type of person seems to have one.
When you first see them you think, "Wow, that's the shit!" They look cool and play movies. However, if you do some research, or just happen to be less impulsive than child molester at a toy convention, you'll see them for the scam they really are.

These new 'toys' use UMD discs. Jocks seem to think they're really amazing. They're as quick to throw all of their hard earned weed cash at $20 movies as they are to get in bed with Nancy the next-door necropheliac.
Haste makes waste, kiddos.
What some people don't know is the average DVD has about 7 Gigs of data on it. UMDs have 1.8Gbs That's plenty for a small PSP screen, but what if you want to play it on your TV?

The PS3 is said to come ready to play UMDs just like it would a DVD. However, if you've ever seen what a 2GB movie looks like on a big screen, you would scoff at it.

If I buy a movie, I'll be damned if I'm going to buy one that only plays well on a small screen of a specific unit. And what happens when this PSP fad is over? I'll tell you. You'll have a movie on UMD and your precious PSP will be in the back of your drawer, but you'll never dig it up because watching a movie on a screen that small isn't worth the trouble.
It isn't worth the money either.
All used UMDs will end up on eBay. I love eBay.

The other scam is the use of the Sony MemorySticks. I paid around 60 bucks for a 256MB memstick card for my camera. The prices have sense gone down, but they're still the most expensive compact memory cards you can buy. It gets worse. The Playstation Portable only uses the "new" version of the already overpriced MemoryStick.

They're about half the size of the old ones, which only weighed about a gram anyway.
I'll tell you what I think happened. Sony had trouble tricking people into buying their "new" MemoryStick versions and decided not to make the PSP compatible with the old ones. Unlike your insignificant penis, size isn't the issue.

You wouldn't even notice the difference. You could have even fit the biggest of the cards, the CompactFlash, inside of the PSP. Hell, Sony could have made a contract to make CompactFlash compatible, but they decided to rape your wallet with extra expenses.

Don't for a minute think they don't have a contract with CompactFlash. In fact, there newest 8 Megapixel camera, the DSCf828, takes MemoryStick AND CompactFlash. I purchased a 1GB compact flash card for 70 bucks.

Sony really lost out on that one. If they have their way, you'll buy the PSP and lose out too.
They have every right to do this, but you also have every right to refuse them.

PSPs are fun and trendy (like an Ipod) if you have a lot of money to throw around. You'll soon realize what a waste of money they are and sodomize yourself.
Just like you did when you blew your money on Pokemon
and Furby
and Gameboy
and your ex.
My friend, you are going to have a soar pooper.

Commujism

What is it with Communism recently? I had a really cool, gay, teacher who tried to shove his Communist agenda down our throats one time. He went on and on about how other countries think anything but Communism is ridiculous.

The Liberals who I have heard argue for Communism say it is "A truly genius system."
Oh really? What is go 'genius' about it? Communism is no more complex than Capitalism.

Here's basic Communism.

1.) Everyone is 'assigned' a job (rather than being free to choose).
2.) Everyone receives the same pay.
3.) There is no institution of private property.

The idea of not having private property was made popular by Neo-Platonists and Christians who believed having private property was evil and irreligious. They believed God made land for the use of all humanity. It's hard for me to argue with number three. Then again, I don't want hippies camping outside of my bedroom window at night..

Libs also argue that Communism is "perfect in theory." I can't count the times I've heard that. They continue to babble on saying, "Once it's put into effect, it doesn't work well." Well, you've convinced ME that Communism is great.

Hear me. If something works perfect in theory but not in practice, you are obviously neglecting some extremely significant factors.
You might want to read that again.

I'm not going to dwell on foreign Communist leaders such as Lenin, Stalin, Mao and Castro. Concentrating on past leaders who were evil and happened to be Communists would be 'an Extended Analogy,' one of the many forms of fallacy. However, the countries themselves who have tried Communism, aren't doing very well.

Could you imagine being assigned a job? Think about your least favorite subject in school. Imagine yourself studying that subject and making a career out of it for the rest of your life. That is what would happen to millions of Americans if Communism were to be put into action. Granted, many people would love their new jobs, but there would be some dyer consequences. (Pardon my pun.)

Here's just one.
Consider the scientists doing advanced medical research in disease control and prevention. A vast majority of them knew exactly where they would end up. They knew they liked biology and wanted to help discover something great. Billions of lives have been saved by biologists already. Now imagine putting someone who hates biology in their position and putting someone with all the Biology potential you could hope for, in a ticket booth.

Here's the part that really gets me. Equal pay.
While it is impossible to deny equal pay would be great, it just isn't logical.

Assume you are working at a store and have two choices. You can either be a great employee who is always working hard, insuring costumer satisfaction and keeping your shirt clean, or you can be a drooling, unkempt individual who does the least amount of work to get by. You get the same pay. Which would you choose? There's just no incentive to improve yourself and do good work.

Speaking of customer satisfaction, I love it. There's nothing better than a company that cares about your wants and needs. A company that is willing to go to extra lengths to make sure you are cared for. Not with Communism though. If you want the Communist-Employee attitude, imagine the groaning, punk ass teenager behind the cash register (the one who is annoyed by your presence). He wants nothing more than to go home and knock up his porky, girlfriend.
That's the Communist attitude.

For all of you Democrats out there. Imagine if Communism hadn't been thought of yet and George W. Bush came out onto stage and said, "I think we oughts ta all get the same money and have the Government choose our jobs for us." You wouldn't cheer and celebrate this seemingly genius idea. Libs and Conservatives would grow wild with anger. They would throw apples and fetuses at our dear president, followed by a speeding harpoon gliding gracefully through Mr. George W's podium.
Luckily, Bush is a great man and would never try to take our freedom like that.

Communism may be trendy if you're a lib, but supporting it makes you look like a freedom-hating kack.