Online confessions I've run into
Here is a list of insane online confessions I've run into. If these don't make you feel better about your personal faults, then you are a filthy filthy pervert.
And a bad person.
Here we go! NOTE: These were written by other people. I've provided visual aid and italicized text to show what I have written.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Due to my addiction to prescription painkillers, I have developed a certian "condition" in my anus. About two years ago, when I was eating vicodin like a fat kid eats potato chips, I went to take a long needed poo and, low and behold, the shit would just not come out. I knew that opiates caused constipation and I was sure all the chalk in the pills was not helping either, but since it had been more than a week without any turd burglering, I was determined to get that tree trunk out. So, I braced myself on the handicapped rails and gave a vein popping, stroke causing push. Oops! The log that came out was perhaps larger than my arm in circumference and being this wide, on it's way out, it proceeded to rip my bunghole. Oh, the pain I endured throughout the next 3 months... Luckily, I had painkillers-a-plenty keep the pain and more shitting to a minimum. Or maybe that was unlucky, because every time that I managed to squeeze one out after that, my asshole became more and more mangled. After about 3 months the pain was still unbearable and I had run out of my pain pills. I then devised a plan to get more pain killers by visiting the doctor and letting him know just how much pain I was in. So make an appointment and when the day comes, I let him know I am in server pain because of a supposed case of hemhroids(sp?). Anyway, has me sit on the examination table and then proceeds to tell me to "drop my drawers and spread 'em". Embassrasment was the leat of my problems. He and I both were taken aback by the stench, and he asked me if I realized how "Fucked up my ass" was. Now, I'm no doctor, but that does not seem to be a medical term to me. He actually told aked me that. Needless to say, he sent me home with some cream and told me to take some Advil. Yikes. Long story short, It's two years later and the pain is gone, but the stench remains and so does the bloody toilet paper after a particularly large session with the toilet. Ahhh... I feel so much better confessing that now. Almost as good as taking a big fat shit.
That was such a cute story.
im 14 and the weirdest one you'll ever meet. i'm obsessed with nostradomus and all his theories. somtimes i see detailed evil faces on sides of buildings. Sometimes I think my third eye is opening
Sometimes when I masturbate I think of my friend Phil's Dad, Phil's Dad used to touch him 'bad touch' stylee, this makes me wet to my end, is this wrong?
/reaches for cigar cutter.
/places it in lap.
I'm afraid my best friend may become jewish.
Oh God forbid! That would be just terrible! Actually, if he’s already Christian I wouldn’t support it.
I act all depressed when I speak to my parents.
They worry about me a lot, and call all the time to check up on me.
My mom's way of dealing with me is to throw lots of money at me. I think it is ruining my life.
I used to fantasize about killing my ex-girlfriends two dogs. I wanted to take a hot dog, hollow it out, fill it with Drano Gel and toss it in her backyard.
We recently made up and stopped fighting...but I still want to kill her dogs.
i have freakishly small testicles (think infantile size) and i'm 26. i've tried weighing them down with ball stretchers and even thought about using cinder blocks. i want big balls to match my big dick. ugh.
WTF? I’m no expert at this, but stretching them out wouldn’t make them bigger…You need attention.
I feel terrible about it, but when I fire or lay people off at work, I get an erection.
Congratulations.
I want to be psychotic. I want to have a disturbing disorder that makes people that see me in public be creeped out by me and my demented actions. Then I want to get up in their faces and act like I'm going to kill them, until they're scared out of their wits.
i cut my arms up really badly a couple months ago.
i told my mom about it and told her that i did it all because of her and the way she treats me. she started crying. oneday i found her diary and she talked about how bad she felt and how personal she took everything that I told her.
ill never tell her that i found her diary. but i do respect her for her personal thoughts. sometimes you forget that about people.
pain?
When I was a kid another male friend and I would masturbate side by side under a blanket in his room imagining we were going to "The Land of Naked Sorceresses" (you know, from "He-Man"). Oddly enough, I'm pretty sure I'm not gay.
I hate the moron in the next cubicle. I shoot rubber bands at him and hope that I can put his eye out, so that he has to wear an eye patch and have no depth perception anymore so that I can laugh at him. Plus he has a cripple foot and hobbles around the office and I think that is too funny.
I once killed a drifter in Nevada to obtain an erection.
You people and your erections.
I HIGHLY doubt that Moses split the waters as noted in the bibles.
Get real now.
There’s scientific evidence, you moron. Watch Discovery.
It seems that the only answer to life is death, a feeling of completeness, of nothingness, of satisfaction in knowing that you know nothing but everything at the same time.
Oooooh how original.
i tied a long string to one of my cat's teeth and put the rest of the string into his pet food. The next day i noticed the string coming out both ends.
I felt bad about this and the fact that i played with the string pulling it back and forward
Bull.
I often masturbate while punching myself in the face. Hard.
You said hard.
I hate the moron in the next cubicle. I shoot rubber bands at him and hope that I can put his eye out, so that he has to wear an eye patch and have no depth perception anymore so that I can laugh at him. Plus he has a cripple foot and hobbles around the office and I think that is too funny.
i am very very worried
whilst watching 'man bites dog' i started to get an erection during the rape and murder scene.
i dont feel well
(i am also wearing an ab flex)
HUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ab flex HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
By the way, those parts of the brain are apparently really close to each other. It doesn’t necessarily mean you are insane.
I once tied my brothers teddy bear, His name was B4. B4 bear. Anyways, I tied a rope around it's neck and then tied the end of the rope to the ceiling fan in our bathroom. I then flushed the bear down the toilet and turned the fan on. The bear was spinning and spinning and had gone all the way down the U bend. Anyways, I left it spinning for my brother to find. He found it and started crying out for his mum, When mum found him he was hugging a wet bear with shit stains all over it. My brother had to throw the bear away... I still laugh to this day, I have started calling all his Girlfriends b4. Im afraid he wants to kill me.
i took care of two cats for a friend. i tortured one of them, the fat one. i started starving it, then i'd smack it in the head without warning. i'd corner it in the bathroom and kick at it. i held it in the air by its tail and punched it in the stomach. i held it underwater. i began going after it with such savagary that my stomach got tied in knots and i could barely breath. after each episode, light-headed, shaking and a little naseous, i was convinced i'd end up killing it. so i starting thinking up a credible story to explain its death. the other cat, a tabby, i liked a lot. never harmed it. my girlfriend eventually made the friend take them back. she was getting sick of them, but she never found out i was a torturer.
…….
when i was a young kid i would sneak into my grandmothers closet while she was changing and masterbate while she was changing. i didnt even have the respect to clean up after myself.
i also met a guy that i talked to on the internet alot. he was gay and i was bi-curious. he was into really kinky things. so he asked me to stick a baseball bat up his anal opening, it then got stuck and he started to panic. causing it to get stuck into his anus. i rushed him to the hospital and left him there alone. i havent spoken to him since.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA SERVES HIM RIGHT! You shouldn’t play with young kids. Or kids at all for that matter.
i have a fetish for women dressed as klingons, with full forhead make-up. whats worse: i hate star trek
Klingon….?
I play Counterstrike a lot. I want to be a pro-gamer for a living but I would rather everyone who knows me not find out.
Because I am so addicted to this game... I have no friends in real life. The only people who I think that I get along with is an online community. I once told them I have 4 circles of friends... but really I don't have any. In fact to pretend that I had a girlfriend, I asked them what I should take on a picnic. Does this make me a lost cause to society?
I have a secret fetish for my younger brother too, he's so cute and I'm addicted to the most gorgeous fruit salads.
I really hope I can sort my life out.
Hilaaaarious
I have a younger brother with a mental disability, and throughout highschool my other brother and I babysat him. Sometimes the special one would get in moods; these entailed screaming at the top of his lungs, running down the street, or wandering around the house looking for ways to make us crazy. Once, my brother and I got sick of dealing with retard problems, so we tied him up and duct taped his mouth shut. My parents freaked out when they got home, and I didn't feel bad at the time because he was their retard son. I guess I'm sorry now, though.
Asshole!
I think I'm afraid of sex.
I hate my haircut.
I hate my hairdresser.
I fall for ANYONE who has the name Matt.
My life is bad.
Sometimes I think about killing myslef by drinking cleaning products.
Maybe I'm insane
I confess that I type 'lol' without actually laughing out loud.
You asshole.
I get really turned on watching movies where people turn into animals (werewolves, etc.) and often masturbate to it. I would love to get fucked in the butt - it would be like I was turning into an animal and growing and retracting my tail.
When I was about 3, I would hide behind a curtain in my livingroom (in a second floor appartment overlooking a busy street) and I would stick my toys up my butt and pretend I had a tail. I wonder how many people saw me. Hehe.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAUAHAHUAHUAHUAHA
ANTHROFURRY!
i'm a christian. i know God forgives me, but still. i freaked at a dance. not just a little. but the whole night. i guess it's what "normal teenagers" do in this era.. but still! i'm supposed to be different. i gave in to the worldly things that one night and i can't seem to forget about it. probably because i feel dang guilty. like i killed a cat or something. after that night, i swore to myself i wouldn't ever do it again.
not a lot of people know about this incident. that is so sad.
When I was younger this girl I was set up on a blind date with made fun of me and left. I later met her (about 5 years later) and she was a ugly skank. I walked up to her and laughed in her face and pushed her down in the pouring rain.
I felt much better.
YES! Shame on you. But yes!
I was stepping out of an elevator and decided to press all the buttons. As I was walking away, someone entered the elevator.
Been there, done that.
I had an abortion when I was younger, and now that I'm older and married I'm afraid that I won't be able to have children because of it. The thought makes me want to cry!
Serves you right you filthy whore.
I look at my school and see a bunch of gangsta thugs that think they're all that. I think of how many are pregnant and how many have been held back a grade or two. Thinking of this puts a smile on my face because I know they have no future. But then I also get pissed off because I know they'll end up on welfare and I'll end up supporting them with my tax money. I hate those fuckers. By no means am I racist, but most of them are black.
i'v been doing drugs since i was 10 years old, it started off with marijuana then got into the harder drugs i had tried p by the age of 12.. i am now 18 and i am adicted to p, i have no friends no family, i am going to die in 3 months. A few months ago i had gotten fired from my work (mcdonalds) i had no money and i was about to be kicked out of my apartment, i needed money to pay my rent and for more P, i tried to get work but no one would hire me.. i decided i had to somehow sell my self, i began working the streets and having gay sex with men, i would make around 100 dollers a night.. good money, i quite enjoyed it.
Wow… remind me never to try that stuff.
I still have the blanket my grandmother gave me when I was 8 years old. I am a 30 year old man with a family. It's with me when I'm on the couch and on the bed when I sleep. It's not an emotional thing, it is just a very quality blanket. I don't give a fuck about my wife's snide remarks anymore either. So I packed it in my bag for our honeymoon, so fucking what? Who knows if there will be acceptable blankets at the Radisson? I like ol' Rusty, and that's that.
I hate Al Sharpton. I can't stand his hypocrital actions.
Grrr...
WOW! I was looking at a picture of the Reverand Al Shitbuns on my site, then I clicked and read this confession.
Nobody cares.
when I was 12, I had a parrot named Bobo. whenever Bobo had to expel gas (I guess he was strange. do parrots even do that?), he always did this funny thing with his eyes. well one day before he had to fart, me bieng a curious George, I put my finger over his hole so he had to hold it in. his eye suddenly turned purple and it stayed that way. pressure maybe? anyway I was so freaked out by the thought of getting interrigated by my parents and the fear of him jumping out of his cage and clawing off my finger while I was aslepp, that I one day just said "ok screw Bobo" and frantically took him outside and made him fly away. needless to say, he took a huge dump on my new Gap shirt before he flew off. since my twin sister had the exact same shirt, I just switched the two and called it a day. ain't I the devil.
Ohhh man. This takes the cake!
And a bad person.
Here we go! NOTE: These were written by other people. I've provided visual aid and italicized text to show what I have written.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Due to my addiction to prescription painkillers, I have developed a certian "condition" in my anus. About two years ago, when I was eating vicodin like a fat kid eats potato chips, I went to take a long needed poo and, low and behold, the shit would just not come out. I knew that opiates caused constipation and I was sure all the chalk in the pills was not helping either, but since it had been more than a week without any turd burglering, I was determined to get that tree trunk out. So, I braced myself on the handicapped rails and gave a vein popping, stroke causing push. Oops! The log that came out was perhaps larger than my arm in circumference and being this wide, on it's way out, it proceeded to rip my bunghole. Oh, the pain I endured throughout the next 3 months... Luckily, I had painkillers-a-plenty keep the pain and more shitting to a minimum. Or maybe that was unlucky, because every time that I managed to squeeze one out after that, my asshole became more and more mangled. After about 3 months the pain was still unbearable and I had run out of my pain pills. I then devised a plan to get more pain killers by visiting the doctor and letting him know just how much pain I was in. So make an appointment and when the day comes, I let him know I am in server pain because of a supposed case of hemhroids(sp?). Anyway, has me sit on the examination table and then proceeds to tell me to "drop my drawers and spread 'em". Embassrasment was the leat of my problems. He and I both were taken aback by the stench, and he asked me if I realized how "Fucked up my ass" was. Now, I'm no doctor, but that does not seem to be a medical term to me. He actually told aked me that. Needless to say, he sent me home with some cream and told me to take some Advil. Yikes. Long story short, It's two years later and the pain is gone, but the stench remains and so does the bloody toilet paper after a particularly large session with the toilet. Ahhh... I feel so much better confessing that now. Almost as good as taking a big fat shit.
That was such a cute story.
im 14 and the weirdest one you'll ever meet. i'm obsessed with nostradomus and all his theories. somtimes i see detailed evil faces on sides of buildings. Sometimes I think my third eye is opening
Sometimes when I masturbate I think of my friend Phil's Dad, Phil's Dad used to touch him 'bad touch' stylee, this makes me wet to my end, is this wrong?
/reaches for cigar cutter.
/places it in lap.
I'm afraid my best friend may become jewish.
Oh God forbid! That would be just terrible! Actually, if he’s already Christian I wouldn’t support it.
I act all depressed when I speak to my parents.
They worry about me a lot, and call all the time to check up on me.
My mom's way of dealing with me is to throw lots of money at me. I think it is ruining my life.
I used to fantasize about killing my ex-girlfriends two dogs. I wanted to take a hot dog, hollow it out, fill it with Drano Gel and toss it in her backyard.
We recently made up and stopped fighting...but I still want to kill her dogs.
i have freakishly small testicles (think infantile size) and i'm 26. i've tried weighing them down with ball stretchers and even thought about using cinder blocks. i want big balls to match my big dick. ugh.
WTF? I’m no expert at this, but stretching them out wouldn’t make them bigger…You need attention.
I feel terrible about it, but when I fire or lay people off at work, I get an erection.
Congratulations.
I want to be psychotic. I want to have a disturbing disorder that makes people that see me in public be creeped out by me and my demented actions. Then I want to get up in their faces and act like I'm going to kill them, until they're scared out of their wits.
i cut my arms up really badly a couple months ago.
i told my mom about it and told her that i did it all because of her and the way she treats me. she started crying. oneday i found her diary and she talked about how bad she felt and how personal she took everything that I told her.
ill never tell her that i found her diary. but i do respect her for her personal thoughts. sometimes you forget that about people.
pain?
When I was a kid another male friend and I would masturbate side by side under a blanket in his room imagining we were going to "The Land of Naked Sorceresses" (you know, from "He-Man"). Oddly enough, I'm pretty sure I'm not gay.
I hate the moron in the next cubicle. I shoot rubber bands at him and hope that I can put his eye out, so that he has to wear an eye patch and have no depth perception anymore so that I can laugh at him. Plus he has a cripple foot and hobbles around the office and I think that is too funny.
I once killed a drifter in Nevada to obtain an erection.
You people and your erections.
I HIGHLY doubt that Moses split the waters as noted in the bibles.
Get real now.
There’s scientific evidence, you moron. Watch Discovery.
It seems that the only answer to life is death, a feeling of completeness, of nothingness, of satisfaction in knowing that you know nothing but everything at the same time.
Oooooh how original.
i tied a long string to one of my cat's teeth and put the rest of the string into his pet food. The next day i noticed the string coming out both ends.
I felt bad about this and the fact that i played with the string pulling it back and forward
Bull.
I often masturbate while punching myself in the face. Hard.
You said hard.
I hate the moron in the next cubicle. I shoot rubber bands at him and hope that I can put his eye out, so that he has to wear an eye patch and have no depth perception anymore so that I can laugh at him. Plus he has a cripple foot and hobbles around the office and I think that is too funny.
i am very very worried
whilst watching 'man bites dog' i started to get an erection during the rape and murder scene.
i dont feel well
(i am also wearing an ab flex)
HUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ab flex HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
By the way, those parts of the brain are apparently really close to each other. It doesn’t necessarily mean you are insane.
I once tied my brothers teddy bear, His name was B4. B4 bear. Anyways, I tied a rope around it's neck and then tied the end of the rope to the ceiling fan in our bathroom. I then flushed the bear down the toilet and turned the fan on. The bear was spinning and spinning and had gone all the way down the U bend. Anyways, I left it spinning for my brother to find. He found it and started crying out for his mum, When mum found him he was hugging a wet bear with shit stains all over it. My brother had to throw the bear away... I still laugh to this day, I have started calling all his Girlfriends b4. Im afraid he wants to kill me.
i took care of two cats for a friend. i tortured one of them, the fat one. i started starving it, then i'd smack it in the head without warning. i'd corner it in the bathroom and kick at it. i held it in the air by its tail and punched it in the stomach. i held it underwater. i began going after it with such savagary that my stomach got tied in knots and i could barely breath. after each episode, light-headed, shaking and a little naseous, i was convinced i'd end up killing it. so i starting thinking up a credible story to explain its death. the other cat, a tabby, i liked a lot. never harmed it. my girlfriend eventually made the friend take them back. she was getting sick of them, but she never found out i was a torturer.
…….
when i was a young kid i would sneak into my grandmothers closet while she was changing and masterbate while she was changing. i didnt even have the respect to clean up after myself.
i also met a guy that i talked to on the internet alot. he was gay and i was bi-curious. he was into really kinky things. so he asked me to stick a baseball bat up his anal opening, it then got stuck and he started to panic. causing it to get stuck into his anus. i rushed him to the hospital and left him there alone. i havent spoken to him since.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA SERVES HIM RIGHT! You shouldn’t play with young kids. Or kids at all for that matter.
i have a fetish for women dressed as klingons, with full forhead make-up. whats worse: i hate star trek
Klingon….?
I play Counterstrike a lot. I want to be a pro-gamer for a living but I would rather everyone who knows me not find out.
Because I am so addicted to this game... I have no friends in real life. The only people who I think that I get along with is an online community. I once told them I have 4 circles of friends... but really I don't have any. In fact to pretend that I had a girlfriend, I asked them what I should take on a picnic. Does this make me a lost cause to society?
I have a secret fetish for my younger brother too, he's so cute and I'm addicted to the most gorgeous fruit salads.
I really hope I can sort my life out.
Hilaaaarious
I have a younger brother with a mental disability, and throughout highschool my other brother and I babysat him. Sometimes the special one would get in moods; these entailed screaming at the top of his lungs, running down the street, or wandering around the house looking for ways to make us crazy. Once, my brother and I got sick of dealing with retard problems, so we tied him up and duct taped his mouth shut. My parents freaked out when they got home, and I didn't feel bad at the time because he was their retard son. I guess I'm sorry now, though.
Asshole!
I think I'm afraid of sex.
I hate my haircut.
I hate my hairdresser.
I fall for ANYONE who has the name Matt.
My life is bad.
Sometimes I think about killing myslef by drinking cleaning products.
Maybe I'm insane
I confess that I type 'lol' without actually laughing out loud.
You asshole.
I get really turned on watching movies where people turn into animals (werewolves, etc.) and often masturbate to it. I would love to get fucked in the butt - it would be like I was turning into an animal and growing and retracting my tail.
When I was about 3, I would hide behind a curtain in my livingroom (in a second floor appartment overlooking a busy street) and I would stick my toys up my butt and pretend I had a tail. I wonder how many people saw me. Hehe.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAUAHAHUAHUAHUAHA
ANTHROFURRY!
i'm a christian. i know God forgives me, but still. i freaked at a dance. not just a little. but the whole night. i guess it's what "normal teenagers" do in this era.. but still! i'm supposed to be different. i gave in to the worldly things that one night and i can't seem to forget about it. probably because i feel dang guilty. like i killed a cat or something. after that night, i swore to myself i wouldn't ever do it again.
not a lot of people know about this incident. that is so sad.
When I was younger this girl I was set up on a blind date with made fun of me and left. I later met her (about 5 years later) and she was a ugly skank. I walked up to her and laughed in her face and pushed her down in the pouring rain.
I felt much better.
YES! Shame on you. But yes!
I was stepping out of an elevator and decided to press all the buttons. As I was walking away, someone entered the elevator.
Been there, done that.
I had an abortion when I was younger, and now that I'm older and married I'm afraid that I won't be able to have children because of it. The thought makes me want to cry!
Serves you right you filthy whore.
I look at my school and see a bunch of gangsta thugs that think they're all that. I think of how many are pregnant and how many have been held back a grade or two. Thinking of this puts a smile on my face because I know they have no future. But then I also get pissed off because I know they'll end up on welfare and I'll end up supporting them with my tax money. I hate those fuckers. By no means am I racist, but most of them are black.
i'v been doing drugs since i was 10 years old, it started off with marijuana then got into the harder drugs i had tried p by the age of 12.. i am now 18 and i am adicted to p, i have no friends no family, i am going to die in 3 months. A few months ago i had gotten fired from my work (mcdonalds) i had no money and i was about to be kicked out of my apartment, i needed money to pay my rent and for more P, i tried to get work but no one would hire me.. i decided i had to somehow sell my self, i began working the streets and having gay sex with men, i would make around 100 dollers a night.. good money, i quite enjoyed it.
Wow… remind me never to try that stuff.
I still have the blanket my grandmother gave me when I was 8 years old. I am a 30 year old man with a family. It's with me when I'm on the couch and on the bed when I sleep. It's not an emotional thing, it is just a very quality blanket. I don't give a fuck about my wife's snide remarks anymore either. So I packed it in my bag for our honeymoon, so fucking what? Who knows if there will be acceptable blankets at the Radisson? I like ol' Rusty, and that's that.
I hate Al Sharpton. I can't stand his hypocrital actions.
Grrr...
WOW! I was looking at a picture of the Reverand Al Shitbuns on my site, then I clicked and read this confession.
Nobody cares.
when I was 12, I had a parrot named Bobo. whenever Bobo had to expel gas (I guess he was strange. do parrots even do that?), he always did this funny thing with his eyes. well one day before he had to fart, me bieng a curious George, I put my finger over his hole so he had to hold it in. his eye suddenly turned purple and it stayed that way. pressure maybe? anyway I was so freaked out by the thought of getting interrigated by my parents and the fear of him jumping out of his cage and clawing off my finger while I was aslepp, that I one day just said "ok screw Bobo" and frantically took him outside and made him fly away. needless to say, he took a huge dump on my new Gap shirt before he flew off. since my twin sister had the exact same shirt, I just switched the two and called it a day. ain't I the devil.
Ohhh man. This takes the cake!
posted by Shat @ 9:34 PM
